When shit went down, I just looked at the situation as someone who slept around and hid many secrets. I thought to myself how I never wanted to lie to a woman like that and so I made the decision to not contact you and performed the actions. It was none of my business, and again, I'm sorry. As the weeks went by and I thought of my actions, I wondered to myself when was the right time to apologize for my actions.
Your thoughts went from respect to automatic hate. It reminded me of the breakup I had with Kathy, where these rumors I heard made me furious, but I held it all in. I approached everyone from the circle with respect, but deep down inside, I was very frustrated. I saw that frustration in you on Sunday and that's when I began to trust your decisions. It's when I realized that I have a tendency to just try and take situations in my own hand and in return, I tore up one of my closest friends, but also, the level of care you have for Reina.
No one ever really sees this side of the situation huh? While everyone is ignoring you, the only person you want is the person you care about. Even worse is when that person you care a lot for doesn't even want to see you. I imagined how the weeks went by for you and the reasons why I got rid of the PS3 after the one left with Kathy (Thanks Gelo!). I couldn't even bare look at that shit when I turn it on, I felt really down.
I really do hope things go well between you and Reina and that you can work on being the best person you can be for her. For me, I really feel that everything is too late. Some things I tell people that I know that she would enjoy appear dumb as fuck to others and I find myself laughing when she's not around. I really felt I lost my best friend and in the end, I found myself burying everything and pretending that everything is okay.
I can't lie to myself, and really, I miss that dork of a girl. I don't want you to lose Reina, because I want to see your ass happy in a way a real relationship can only show you. Kathy's a wonderful person, and you're lucky to still be in touch with her. In other words, I want you to be the opposite of me..Being able to win back the person you want in your life, because no communication sucks ass.
